# 7... Stanza changes

The Pardon
ROBERT PACK

My dog lay dead five days without a grave
In the thick of summer, hid in a clump of pine
And a jungle of grass and honeysuckle-vine.
I who had loved him while he kept alive

Went only close enough to where he was
To sniff the heavy honey-suckle smell
Twined with another odor heavier still
And hear the flies' intolerable buzz.

Well, I was ten and very much afraid.
In my kind world the dead were out of range
And I could not forgive the sad or strange
In beast or man. My father took the spade

And buried him. Last night I saw the grass
Slowly divide (it was the same scene
But now it glowed a fierce and mortal green)
And saw the dog emerging. I confess

I felt afraid again, but still he came
In the carnal sun, clothed in a hymn of flies,
And death was breeding in his lively eyes.
I started to cry and call his name,

Asking forgiveness of his tonguelss head.
. . . I dreamt the past was never past redeeming:
But whether this was false or honest dreaming
I beg death's pardon now. And mourn the dead.

I have decided to turn the poem into tercets.

Rewrite of The Pardon

My dog lay dead five days without a grave
In the thick of summer, hid in a clump of pine
And a jungle of grass and honeysuckle-vine.

I who had loved him while he kept alive
Went only close enough to where he was
To sniff the heavy honey-suckle smell

Twined with another odor heavier still
And hear the flies' intolerable buzz.
Well, I was ten and very much afraid.

In my kind world the dead were out of range
And I could not forgive the sad or strange
In beast or man. My father took the spade

And buried him. Last night I saw the grass
Slowly divide (it was the same scene
But now it glowed a fierce and mortal green)

And saw the dog emerging. I confess
I felt afraid again, but still he came
In the carnal sun, clothed in a hymn of flies,

And death was breeding in his lively eyes.
I started to cry and call his name,
Asking forgiveness of his tonguelss head.

. . . I dreamt the past was never past redeeming:
But whether this was false or honest dreaming
I beg death's pardon now. And mourn the dead.

When written in tercets the poem has a clearer flowing structure to it. You can actually see in each stanza the different feelings that the boy is going through while trying to express his feelings over the death of his dog.

When it was written in the quatrain the poem, to me felt more disjointed. The reader has a greater challenge of trying to piece together the thoughts of the boy as some of the ideas ended in one stanza and then continued in the next.

When split into the tercet form you also see a clear example in some of the stanzas of the "perfect off-balance" feel to the poem that Wendy Bishop spoke of in the excerpt from Thirteen Ways of Looking for a Poem.

For example:

My dog lay dead five days without a grave
In the thick of summer, hid in a clump of pine
And a jungle of grass and honeysuckle-vine.

OR

. . . I dreamt the past was never past redeeming:
But whether this was false or honest dreaming
I beg death's pardon now. And mourn the dead.

The nature of the poem is not lost when written in either form. I just believe that it flows better and is a more comfortable read when read as a tercet instead of a quatrain.